So we are two weeks into the school year and getting back to the routine has not been easy. To be honest, it never is nor has it ever been.

I look forward to the last day of school as much as my daughter does. It’s not just because of the warm weather and the long days of sunshine. Summer break means staying up later for fun, less hectic mornings (oh, to not pack lunches for 3 months while trying to get ready for work! BLISS!) and less scheduling and obligations.

Well, that’s all over.

Getting back to the grueling school routine can be less awful with my top 10 tips I have learned through the years of sleepy-eyed, stress-scheduled agony. It does get slightly better as the kids get older and take on more responsibility, but only slightly.

So here is my run down, one parent to another. We’re in it together! And hey, winter break is not too far away! It goes by fast, so let’s make the most of it.

1: Sleep-schedule woes-
Melatonin helps as well as “night time tea”

I am not a doctor, so before you put your kid(s) or yourself on a melatonin supplement, talk to your physician.

The worst part of getting back to routine is the sleep schedule. These poor teachers have to deal with sleep-cranky kids for a while. I am a mom of a newly minted teen, and once hormones kick in, melatonin is in short supply at night time. I have read quite a few studies around this. Basically there is so much puberty stuff going on in their bodies that they can’t release melatonin (the sleep hormone) until LATE at night. I saw this change in my daughter once puberty started, so I found her 5 mg. melatonin lozenges. I give it to her 30 minutes before I want her sleeping. It does help her get to sleep. Melatonin also regulates biorhythms so as you are changing sleep schedules, this supplement can ease that transition-for you as well as for them!

I have found teas infused with 5 mg. of melatonin too. These teas include other nice calming ingredients like chamomile and verbena. To that end, I also use a couple of different “night teas” with calming herbs and florals that were helpful when my daughter was younger. You may need these around your house too, during this transition.

2: Night time staging=less morning raging

Don’t wait until the morning to gather signed paperwork, collect things to be brought in, pack back packs and decide what outfits to wear. I pre-set out papers I needed to sign and things I need for work near the door, and force my daughter to get together everything needed the night before so we are not running around the next morning. It’s hard enough to get everyone out the door fed, dressed properly with their homework packed. Don’t add more to your morning, you’re just asking for trouble (and yelling). Whatever you can do the night before, do it. It can be as simple as just cleaning out the coffee pot so it’s ready to go in the morning! This will give you back 5 minutes-and that’s a lot. (Coffee is super important to survival in this wild, back-to-school jungle-but more on that later.)

3: Starbucks #PSL coffee keeps you happy (and awake)

Well mom and dads, how else do you think you can keep up with sleep deprived kids who are asking for science fair help after dinner, when you are equally just as sleep deprived? COFFEE. And to make your routine a little more special, enjoy Starbucks fall coffees. Their Fall blend has been a MUST every early morning this month. And the VIA Pumpkin Spice Latte is a great late night treat that goes nicely with laundry, math homework crying and filling out school medical forms for the 5th time. In fact, just tonight I had to open a bunch of paperwork from school, including my monkey’s eligibility to Chicago high schools. This was a big deal. I had to sit down, say a prayer and sip a VIA Pumpkin Spice Latte while I opened the much anticipated envelope.

Not sure if it was the magic of pumpkin and spice (because it is, indeed, magical) or my daughter’s hard work, but there was good news all over that letter! I breathed a sigh of relief and sipped my VIA #PSL in absolute enjoyment. Not only do VIA #PSLs give you an easy way to enjoy a punch of fall flavor and caffeinated energy, but it also gets you into the fall spirit. It simply puts you in a good mood. It makes routines less drudgery and forces you to enjoy the special moments that happen within the routines.

How else do you think I got through the maddening back-to-school shopping at Target? Did I have a Venti PSL in my hand the whole time? Yes. Yes. I. Did.

 

4: Sunday meal plans mean smoother weeks

The running theme of this post is pre-planning. Yes, it takes precious time, but it will save you time in the long run. Sunday morning meal planning has become an enjoyable ritual my husband and I enjoy over a nice hot cup of Starbucks Fall Blend. Sitting down for 30 minutes on a Sunday morning to put together a meal schedule for the week allows you to grocery shop efficiently,  get ahead of certain meals and work around your kid’s extra curricular activities. Family having dinner late one night after a game? Plan a crock pot chili that cooks itself. Prep the liner the night before so you can put it in and get it going that morning. Then plan to make tacos or a Tex-Mex casserole with left over chili the next night. Planning like this will allow less stress, less waste and happy tummies all around.


5: The freezer is a lunchbox buddy

Your freezer can really help in lunch box planning for the morning. I freeze juice pouches so I don’t need to pack (and continuously freeze) ice packs. The juice naturally defrosts by lunchtime and keeps other things cold in the lunch box. You can also prep PBandJs, too. They will naturally defrost during the morning. I also use frozen chicken tenders and throw them in the toaster oven in the morning for my daughter’s lunch. Once they are cooled I wrap them in foil and toss them in her lunch sack. Think about how you can use your freezer to help assist prepping some of your kids’ favorites.

6: Google calendar keeps planes moving

I get so tired of managing different calendars, but I am air traffic control for our family. That means I need to verbally tell my husband events and appointments (repeat about 5 times, and twice the day of event…men*), keep a family calendar up to date in the kitchen, track my own calendar that merges with my work calendar. It’s enough to lose your mind. I started using Google calendar and inviting my daughter and husband to it. When I put an event on it for either one of them I can invite them to it and they will get an alert. It will also alert them 15 minutes before something is going to start and it merges with my outlook calendar at work. It is a big help with scheduling. For more about Google calendar, check out my post from a few years ago.

7: Pre-bake and freeze class treats

I can’t tell you how often my daughter remembers at 8 p.m. that she needed to bring a class treat in for one occasion or another the next day. Now I love baking, but not at 8 p.m. on a night I was planning on catching up on some Game of Thrones. If you are not into baking at all hours, take some time on a Sunday and prebake some cakes and freeze them to either frost or crumble up to make cake pops when you need that last minute treat. If you have a lot of freezer space, you can try freezing cupcakes. I also freeze cookies and they hold up for 6-8 months really well. Having something on hand quickly will make your school year a lot easier. Trust me on this one. I speak from experience.

8: Keep a running grocery list on the fridge

The minute you are low on something or used the last of something, write it on a list somewhere that’s in your face all the time, screaming at you. We keep ours on the fridge, front and center. Next time we’re at the store, we merge this list with the mothership list. It’s so hard to keep track of stuff and the last thing you need is to be out of toothpaste at bedtime and you need to run to Walgreen’s. When you’re low on anything, put it on the list. Get ahead of things.

9: Pharmacy stock up gives you a leg up on illness

It never fails. It’s bedtime and you hear the complaints of a sore throat or a stuffy nose. Kids announce their illnesses at the most inconvenient times. Don’t be caught without medicine. Your mamma bear instincts want to get them comfy and feeling better as soon as possible. Your sleep-deprived self doesn’t want to run more errands late at night (I mean, you just got your pajamas on, right?). During the back-to-school shopping I stock up the medicine cabinet with band aids, antibiotic cream, fever and pain reducers, day and night cold medicine, tummy ache meds, Orajel and Benadryl. If you use my list as a guide, it should get you setup for any minor health hiccups throughout the year.

10: Keep extra school supplies in the closet

I know school supplies are expensive, so sometimes it’s hard to buy extra stuff during that first big shopping spree. But if you see good deals on packs of pencils, pens, paper, erasers and sharpeners, you should buy some extras. I keep extra supplies in a cabinet in my home office, and we dip into that stash at least 5 times a year. (What is it with kids losing pencil sharpeners and erasers constantly?) I’m just trying to prevent you from running to the convenience store in the dead of winter late at night to buy a pencil sharpener. One, it will be overpriced. Two, you’ll end up buying that double fudge turtle ice cream in the freezer case. Three, you may still be in your pajamas thinking, “who am I going to run into at the convenience store this late?” Then you see your neighbor. Never fails.

Please note: Starbucks coffees were provided by Starbucks. All thoughts, opinions and obsessions about Starbucks coffee are completely my own. Thanks! #starbucks @starbucks #VIA #PSL #coffeepassion

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Navigating the tween years can be so tricky.

You get through the no-sleep, diaper ridden newborn phase, the toddler tantrum phase and the play ground politics elementary school phase coming out of all of it seemingly unscathed. During the whole journey, this child of yours is practically another bodily appendage, holding your hand on the way to school and wanting you to stay with them at bedtime. They want to read with you, snuggle with you, do everything with you. 

Now I walk into my 12 year old daughter’s room and she asks why I am there, with that little bit of edgy attitude. You know the tone? You may recognize it because you had it too, many years ago.
At bedtime, she wants to get her own water and doesn’t always want me to tuck her in anymore.
She can’t wait to get out of my car at school drop off.

As she pulls away from me, I try and stay close. After all, isn’t this the phase that I should be knowing what she’s doing, who she is hanging out with and talking to? Isn’t this the precarious phase where bad influences can prove disastrous for my daughter? I also…well…I miss her. But when I push into her life, she often pushes back. A few months ago, I was at my wit’s end.

I finally sat down to talk to her. The conversation went like this:
“I just want you to know, I want to respect your privacy. And I am so used to you wanting me around, doing so much for you and with you. I am having trouble knowing when to be around and when not-and I miss spending so much time with you. If you want to hang out or want me to tuck you in or watch a movie together, I need you to let me know, because I want to be there for you. Otherwise I’ll try and give you more space, OK? I know you are becoming your own person and want more independence. I don’t want to squash that. Does that sound like a deal? Can you help me know what you need from me by communicating more?”

“Yes, mom.”

So now it’s a dance. I give her space, nudging in when my instincts tell me I should, and when she surprises me and says, “I want to hang out with you after homework and watch a show.” I make sure to drop whatever I was planning on doing and get in that time with her. Sometimes she can’t communicate when she needs me, so I’m always on the “mamma-bear-instincts-red-alert” when I feel she may need me to push in. I am in a “Stop, Drop and Be There” mode. If I don’t do it now, what will the teen years be like? I will barely see her at all!

I have noticed that because I respect her privacy now she wants to hang out with me more-and tells me so. It has made us closer, and she has a lot less attitude when she talks to me. Maybe because I have made a point to try and understand her and force her to communicate her needs with me? I am not sure. 

SO the dance continues, maybe well into high school.
I push in sometimes but generally follow her lead. We get close when she asks and then she boogies on her own for a while until she asks for another twirl. And when she asks for a dance, I oblige-no matter what. Because I never know when the next dance will happen. You have to be there when they want you or else they may stop asking for a dance with you all together. That’s a slippery slope I don’t want to go down.

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Hello Readers.
Social media and the “interwebs” is an amazing way to meet people and grow your community. Through it I have met amazing and talented people I would not have ever met had it not been through this blog One of the people I have had the pleasure of getting to know is a wonderful new mom, Hillary! Hillary, meet the cyber-world. Hillary is on her new journey of motherhood! She is a mommy-to-be that enjoys learning about starting a new family, safety for her baby, and anything that’s cute for her newborn! She is going to share tips, thoughts and advice about her new journey with the world. We are still working out the details, and may add a special section to the blog once we get going, but join me in giving her a warm welcome as she shares some advice on shopping for baby furniture. 

I think it apropos to be launching this addition to the blog on the heels of the Royal Baby’s birth, don’t chya’ think!?
I meant to do that. Uh huh.

Important baby furniture needed for your newborn

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Every mother is pulled in various directions, and dedicates her life in taking care of others. I am reminded of a wonderful old book I read years ago by Anne Morrow Lindberg called “Gift from the Sea.” In it, she describes a woman’s life like the spokes of a wheel. Her core radiates outward from her center, and each spoke is a role she plays in supporting her “wheel of life”. She is a mother, wife, girlfriend, sister, friend, niece, aunt, granddaughter, grandmother-the list goes on and on. But she rarely focuses inward. The way of the mother is always outward, and always spinning around going somewhere.

So I would suggest that everyone should give the mom in their life time. Husbands, take that 25 dollars and take the kids to the movies, a playlot or use it on gas to run errands with the kids. Take the kids away for a little while so that Mom can have some guilt-free time all to herself for once.

Time for a bath without someone banging on the door or yelling for you.
Time to read an extra long novel-or a short trashy one.
Time to garden with wild abandon.
Time to watch a Downton Abbey marathon with your cat and a vat of popcorn the size of an elephant.
Time to catch up on scrapbooking, or sewing, or painting, or crafting or writing.
Time to do absolutely nothing but sit on your deck with a cup of tea wine.
Time to do your nails and actually let them dry properly.
Time to take a walk.
Time to work out.
Time to fill new boards on Pinterest.
Time to actually…wait for it….take a nap.

Time for mom to do whatever she wants to do for herself (and usually its just small things) and not feel an ounce of “mom-guilt” doing it.

And for extra brownie points, if dads/kids are really thrifty with that 25 bucks and found a cheap/free way to leave the house with the kids without having DCFS called, then put that money toward some yummy groceries and make a cozy dinner together as a family. Mom will be all refreshed and excited to spend time with her family after all that indulgent “me-time.”

Now excuse me while I go print out this post for my husband.

Happy Mother’s Day, and please share what you would do with your gift of time!

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Years ago, when I was going through all the hoops to get confirmed in the Catholic religion, I remember a distinct moment that made an incredible impact on me. It was during a religious retreat, and unbeknownst to us, our parents were asked to write a letter to us. We were given our letters near the end of our retreat and asked to find a quiet, private corner to read them.

Not only was the fact my mother actually wrote a letter to me was surprising, but how well written, poignant, inspiring and moving it was. To give you a little context, my mother and father did not go to school to learn English. They learned it as they lived life here as Italian immigrants. They were very self conscious of writing in English. Add to that the fact that the rocky, early teen years of an 8th grader were not good to the relationship between my mother and I, and you can see why this letter made a mark on me that lasted a lifetime. I still have it saved in my “pre-teen box of goodies” I’m saving for my daughter. I saved this box of “stuff” because I wanted her to know my history- that I was 10, 11, 12, too. It’s a concept most children don’t completely understand. I thought if I saved my kitten-and-rainbow-sticker covered journals and share them with her over the next few years, she may understand that I get what she is going through. I was there, and I survived. So will she. And I can be there for her.

And there are other things I ‘ve been saving. The letter from my mother moved me so much, I decided to start a tradition. I did not want my daughter to just have one letter. I wanted her to have a lot of them, I wanted them to help her and guide her even when I am not around any more. So every birthday, I have written her a letter-from when she was 1 on up. Sometimes I talk about some milestones she has accomplished, the qualities I see in her that are awesome, some things she needs to work on, advice that happens to be top of mind, observations about our family and life in general. I let the moment move me, and I document.

And lately, I have taken to documenting funny conversations or even a milestone that we have had as a family. I have also wanted to tell her things that maybe she won’t understand now, but will someday. The day we moved out of our first house where she was born, I became very introspective. I found some dry cleaner paper off a wire hanger the movers left behind. As I sat in the empty house, I wrote her a letter right on that crumpled hanger paper with a sharpie. She was only 4, and didn’t understand what a big move this was for all of us. I felt the need to document it and cherish it, and save it for her for when she was older. And now I have taken to documenting other things.

For example, we recently had a funny conversation in the car, and it was one of those things you wish you could just bottle and be able to go back to. My daughter is 10 now, and the preteen years are starting with the gas pedal all the way down. And during this conversation, my tomboy girl admitted liking a boy in her class. In telling me about her feelings, she said the most unique, funny, charming things about it, I just felt compelled to remember it. And I wanted her to look back and remember it, too. I want her to know that she is charming, funny and innocent. That she looks at life with a pragmatism and humor that I only wish I had at her age. I sat down that afternoon and wrote down the conversation so we would remember it someday with some giggles, adding all those qualities I just mentioned in the letter.

It’s all just going so fast, and if we don’t document our milestones, our feelings, our changes, our growth together as a family, how will we remember it? How can we share it? This is my way of doing it. And saying you don’t have time is true. You don’t. That’s the whole point.

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Girl Scouts is often thought of as an organization known for it’s delectable cookies as well as it’s reward system of badges for young girls as they accomplish various skills. These skills have been historically “domestic” in flavor, as well as outdoorsy. As the organization has been trying to stay relevant to today’s girls, the badges have also changed to become what are called “journeys” versus one of badge work. They have also tried to include activities that are more 21st century like digital photography, business plans, green initiatives -just to name a few. But as badges and activities change, the core of scouts has not changed. That is the sisterhood that is at it’s heart and soul.

I remember as a child really wanting to be a Girl Scout. My “off-the-boat” Italian parents did not understand the whole scouting thing. In fact, I think they were weirded out by it. I had a colleague once tease that it was a “quasi-para-military organization ” Maybe my parents were uncomfortable by the uniforms, oaths and badges, being children of WWII and from Italy. I, however, was envious of scouts in my class. The pins and badges were so sparkly and colorful. The activities sounded so fun, and the scouts got to be out-of-uniform on the day of meetings. Those days they got to show off there cute caps and sashes to the rest of us lowly girls. I never got to join, but I swore if I had a daughter, she was going to join scouts as a Daisy.

And we did. And as we came to meetings, I gradually became inducted as a leader (HELLO? Look at my blog? Crafting, gardening, cooking on scrappy budgets? Hell yeah, I’m a scout leader!). I thought, I would stick with leading until my daughter wanted to move on to other things. Like most parents, scouting is cyclical. Many come into it when they were young and carry those learnings and experiences with them as they moved on through life. Then as many find themselves with daughters, they rejoin the organization for a time. For many it is quite fulfilling but activity ebbs and flows,

What I have come to discover, however, is that for other women scouting is a family-a sisterhood. The saying, “A sister to every scout” runs deep and true throughout the volunteer-led organization. I have met amazing women who are not only my coleaders but have become fast friends. We grow together as our scouts grow under our tutelage. But through these connections I have been introduced to a larger group of committed leaders and volunteers that have deepened my experience as a sister scout. This truth was galvanized at a recent leader-only event called “Sno-Joke”, a weekend girlie trip held at one of the scouting camps in WI.

At this outing, the feelings of sisterhood and community was pervasive. As we all had a chance to stand up and introduce ourselves to the larger group, an elderly woman stood up and said, ” My family keeps asking me when I’m going to stop scouting. They ask me, isn’t it time after all these years? I told them, when I say good bye to family, I’ll say goodbye to scouts.” I was not only moved by this comment, but it was made real to me time and time again throughout that weekend among these wonderful women.

As I looked around at all of us enjoying a cozy weekend in a cabin in Wisconsin, I saw women sharing crafting ideas, sharing tips, exchanging recipes as well as gossip. They coordinated get well cards for fellow sick leaders as well as visits and meals to help these same women. A few retired beauticians cut and styled hair for free, shared baby pictures and swapped badges to troops in need of them. They complained about where the organization was going, pumped up volunteer work weekends for various camps and got others excited about upcoming events for the kids. The sense of community and love that these women had for each other and the feeling of responsibility they had for each other-to take care of each other-went much deeper than even the community at my own parish.

I don’t know where the corporate entity is taking scouts. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on profit over community and more importance on the organization versus the girls they serve. There seems to be a forgetfulness that it is a volunteer driven organization. Without the countless women donating their time, inspiration, resources and energy to it, they would have no organization. Of these points, there was much complaining. I do feel some of this points need to be addressed, and I will in “Part 2” of my posts on scouting. (The organization isn’t getting off that easy).

But as many of these changes are being debated, one thing I hope never changes. And that is the sisterhood that scouting creates.  A sisterhood that you, as a little girl, are welcomed into and always can be a part of well into old age, should you want to be a part of it. It’s a place where others will care about you, and care for you should you need it. A place where you will be supported and inspired by others, and where you’ll be reminded that there is a bigger world out there. And though you are a very important part of it, you have a responsibility to contribute to it, too. Juliette Gordon Lowe, the founder of Girl Scouts, said it best…

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