Womanhood Archives » UrbanDomesticDiva

Brewing Spring Traditions #3: Top 10 Wishes for my Perfect Mothers Day

Flora Caputo — Sun, 11 May 2014 18:30:00 +0000

Mothers day comes once a year, and I know some people have a real beef with it. Many claim it’s a made up holiday so that we all go and spend money feeling guilty that we don’t appreciate our mothers enough. The sentiment is that we should appreciate our moms not once a year-but all year.

I can totally understand that. However, life today is so, so busy. There are many contributing factors to the harried days we live, technology being one of them. Careers are another factor. Many of use move away from home based on jobs and life changes. Our jobs get busier and busier, school years get busier and busier. Many of us don’t even make enough time out for our partners, let alone our friends and parents. So if our culture has carved out a day to make our moms feel special and appreciated, forcing us to STOP EVERYTHING and do the same, than I say, HURRAY!

But now, about me. After all, it’s Mothers Day, and I am a mom of a spitfire, quirky, creative little girl. But what do I want today? What makes a mom feel special in my book?

Here are my wishes, and so far we are doing pretty well. Though not sure about #8, but I’m gonna try!

#1: Someone else makes the coffee this morning, and preferably Starbucks Spring Blend which is my favorite brew lately. It’s light and smooth, matching fresh spring days.

#2: I get to read a book in my PJs with my giant cup of coffee while someone else makes breakfast, preferably crepes.

#3: A card from my uber-creative daughter, hopefully with some of her drawn characters in the card, just for me-after which we snuggle.

#4: Un-interrupted garden time. Hubby helps dig some holes.

#5: A hot bath to wash off the dirt from my garden time, with no one banging on the door asking what I am doing in there.

#6: Dinner with my mom and sister (as well as the larger family), honoring them and hanging out with them, preferably with some gut-busting Italian food, lots of wine and followed by another cup of coffee.

#7: Blog writing time, which I am doing RIGHT NOW!

#8: Paint my nails, and try to fit in a facial.

#9: Game of Thrones time with hubby

#10: Nutella. Just, Nutella.

May all your top 10 Mothers Day wishes come true. Have a wonderful day!

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TUESDAY INFOGRAPHIC: Who is your TV Valentine?

Flora Caputo — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:32:00 +0000

So in honor of impending chocolates, flowers and (hopefully) jewelry…this is a fun Valentine infographic. Take your path and see what TV hunk should be your valentine! It’s kind of like the dating game, but with more cheesy celebrity.

It seems that I should be with Don Draper. Big surprise (sarcasm). Heck, I am in advertising. I like vodka as much as the next gal. He’s hot. Works for me.

Who is your TV valentine?

(Thanks to TV squad who developed the graphic. Way fun! Nice job!)

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WOMANHOOD: What is a wife really?

Flora Caputo — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:43:00 +0000

My dear friend and writer, Kathleen, refers herself to her husband as a V.P. of Operations in her household. And I have come to use that term myself around my house. It makes my husband laugh, and we can all use a chuckle now and then.

But, it is true. After all, who…

finds mittens
finds the lost sock
finds addresses
finds that pickle jar that is staring right at you right behind the mayo (just move a jar over, a whole world awaits you on the refrigerator shelf!)
coordinates 5+ schedules
sews buttons and hems pants
coordinates buying gifts and wrapping them on behalf of the family
writes cards and thank yous (especially to n-laws so husbands HAVE a relationship with their family)
cleans
cares for pets
cooks & bakes for pot lucks and activity events
volunteers
contacts the schools and teachers to discuss anything of concern
helps with homework and coordinates purchasing or getting any materials needed for homework

If I go on. I will get tired. Hell, I am the V.P. of Operations in my household. I already AM tired!

*disclaimer: I love my husband. He is a doll and helps me A LOT. If it were not for him helping all the time, I would not even have time to have this blog. I will have to give him a title as well. Let me think on it.

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INFOGRAPHIC TUESDAY: Do Men or Women Achieve Work/Life Balance?

Flora Caputo — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:43:00 +0000

Well, get prepared to be a little depressed. According to this study, men seem to be happier with better work/life balance. They seem to take more breaks for themselves, make more money and do less housework.

SO, what lesson is this for me?

I am going to take my walks at Starbucks during my workday.

I am going to call a cleaning lady.

I am going to ask for a raise.

The smoking and more sex part is negotiable. The latter is only because I have a sneaky suspicion that a good night’s sleep is also very good for work life balance, too.

Enjoy…sort of.

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LIFESTYLE: Women and Community, and Why I think the Social Media Sphere is Booming among Women

Flora Caputo — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 18:27:00 +0000

Women are social creatures. I think since the dawn of time, it has been this way. We talk, gossip and share. Mothers give advice and hand down recipes to their daughters. Men are social but in a very top line, superficial kind of way (no offense, guys). But guys don’t ask a neighbor “My Daughter is teething and she doesn’t like the teething ring I got her. What should I do?” and expect a 20 minute discussion about the pros and cons of this or that. If I call my mother, we are on the phone for an hour. If my husband calls his mother, he is on for 10 minutes. If I ask him what they talked about, he usually sums it up in two sentences. Even at the doctor office, men will ask little to no questions about anything. Recently, my husband had to take our daughter to the clinic for pink eye, and I could not take off work to go as well. When he called to tell me about the diagnosis, I barraged him with questions. “Is she contagious? How long does she take the medicine? Can she be among children? What do I have to do around the house? Are we susceptible? Can she go back to school tomorrow? Is the fever a normal side affect?”

I heard crickets.

Then he quietly answered, “I did not ask those things. The doctor didn’t tell me anything else so I got the medicine and left.”

We ask questions. We want to learn. We want to share our knowledge. We long for community among other women. We want to be part of something bigger; for validation, for support and for empowerment. I think we miss that. Our own physical communities have gotten so spread out and lonely. Our family structures that used to support us have moved or grown apart based on socioeconomic needs. Back in the day, parents lived near children more. So did cousins and siblings. In the fictional book “The Red Tent”, an ancient biblical community would allow the women to hangout together in a tent during their cycle. They made special foods, talked, watched all the children and sang songs, all together. The sense of community and female bonding have always been around and it was easier to achieve. Church communities were tighter. Neighborhoods were tighter, and neighbors talked and watched out for other neighbors. Now, all this is becoming very rare. Aging parents are much more active and live in warmer climates, possibly miles away from helping or giving advice to their children. Siblings move to follow their jobs, sending them far away from nieces and nephews.

Hillary Clinton was right that it takes a village. But where is the village?

Enter the social media village.

I am in marketing for my other full time gig (I say other because being a mamma is my other, more important one as well as a being a blogger), and I see the stats. Social media is being run by women. This is an overstatement to a degree. But the fact is, most of the influencers and the people sharing and talking actively are women. And why is that?

It’s the community of sharing. It’s getting advice and making long distance friendships. It’s feeling accepted and validated when you get a comment, a follow, or resyndicated. It’s trusting other women that have been there and can tell you honestly what’s what: whether it’s a product, a school choice, life advice, cooking advice or gardening tips. It’s a place to share ideas, and get better ones without feeling judged. Lets face it, as our communities that used to support each of us has shrunken and become more siloed, our lives have only gotten more and more complicated. We have more pressures, more to do and more things to worry about. We need ways to help ourselves and each other. We do need a village.

And we have made one.

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LIFE: Google Calendar Might Save Your Marriage and Organize Your Family

Flora Caputo — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 16:32:00 +0000

Ok. So maybe the marriage thing is a bit of an over promise. But if you are like me, you are the air-traffic controller of the family with your own schedule of things to deal with that has nothing to do with family events and obligations…like…work meetings and deadlines. And if your partner is helping getting your kids to and from places, and he/she is not too clear on when and where things are, you can have a chaotic mess on your hands. That happened to us two weeks ago. And when that happens, finger pointing begins, and so does the arguing.

I have too many calendars to manage. We have a main family one in our kitchen that has school dates, girl scouts dates, birthdays, play dates and family obligations. Then I have Entourage at work, that acts like Outlook, which handle my crazy meeting schedule there. Then I have a paper one at work as well, to help traffic projects and also reminds me of the big meetings. Then I started Google Calendar to help get my family one in front of my face at work.

Google is in the “cloud” (which is a fancy word for “on the Internet”), so I can access it from anywhere. So I am trying to repeat all the stuff on the kitchen calendar at home into Google Calendar. Why? Well, lets face it. Today’s working mom needs to juggle everything because work affects home and home affects work. To be successful at both, both need to be managed seamlessly. But now, I am updating two calendars, and one might not get updated fast enough. SO my husband, who looks at the paper one in the kitchen, may not be totally up to speed on whats what, and he may double book us (which he did).

Does this all sound familiar or am I totally overcommitting our family? Probably a little of both, right? Ahh, that is fodder for another post. At any rate…the more I use Google Calendar, the more I see it as the great white hope for peace and organization for our family. Now I don’t mean to help Google in its plan for world domination. Sometimes I feel like Google is becoming as much a part of my life as our bank who has our mortgage, personal and business accounts and credit cards. They pretty much own us! Google is very insidious as well, but it is hard to ignore that some of their tools are intuitive and brilliant. And they are mostly free. Google Calendar is not only awesome, but it is free!

Let me give you an overview and see if this tool can help your family. It is very easy to use.

First, sign up for an account. then, under “tools you may like”, sign up for Google Calendar. There you can click on times and schedule events, like any email/calendar software. It is very intuitive but beyond that is where things get really interesting.

1: Share your schedule

You can share the calendar with members of your family, friends and coworkers. In fact, my fellow Junior troop leader and I have built one out for our girl scout troop and plan on sharing it with all the parents. But more importantly, we can stay up on things no matter where either one of us are, as long as you have an Internet connection. Now my husband can access our family calendar in the cloud as well, and because he has an android phone like I do, the calendar will email him (though GMail) and remind him (on his status bar on his phone) of an event. Karate will never be missed again! Build more than one calendar and name them, or share calendars with others. Access them all in one place.

2: Calendar on the GO and reminders like a personal assistant!

I have always dreamed of having an Alice from the Brady Bunch. Well, this is a way for your mobile smart-phone to act like an Alice (It won’t cook or do laundry, though). Whether you have an iPhone or an Android, the mobile version of Google Calendar sychs with your mobile device. See and add to your calendar wherever you are. At a girl scout meeting? At a book club? Trying to schedule your next meeting is a chore with a paper calendar that’s at home. Not with Google Calendar on the go. Know when you are available and schedule it right there in real time. And now, you will never forget an obligation either! Our Androids, as mentioned above, will get reminders right from the calendar and email us in our GMail accounts as well as give us a reminder in our status bar. It is a matter of turning this setting on when setting up your phone. Androids seamlessly work with Google so set up is as easy as just entering your Google account once and all your apps/tools you have signed up for online get auto-fed into your phone. It is so seamless and so simple it truly is a thing of technological beauty.

3: Send invites and track RSVPs

All you need are emails and you can send people outside of your core family or group an invite to an event. This helps them remember something too. Their reminder will show up in their inbox, and they will be prompted on their end to add it to their own calendaring tool. So I can invite my parents to dinner next month, or the members of my food and wine club to our next get together, in a way that not only stays on my radar, but theirs as well.

4: Sync Outlook. Yes. Its true. (I hear Angels singing.)

I have not done this yet because I have entourage at work. But now that I know this I will lobby to get moved to Outlook at work. Because this is one less calendar I need to keep in sync. As my life gets more complicated, keeping track of 4 calendars is downright clown-car silly. But from what I understand, its a matter of a few clicks and your Outlook and Google calendars will share information. So now, if I have a meeting that ends at 5 in the burbs and I have scouts downtown at 6 in the city, I am alerted to the conflict a lot sooner than freaking out in traffic. I can be more proactive with conflict in my work life and home life.

5: Work offline too!

Its not just for internet! If you don’t have internet access in some remote area, you can view a read-only version so you still know where you need to be. Yup, the bad thing is now you have noe excuses!

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LIFESTYLE: What our Mothers Taught Us

Flora Caputo — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 18:57:00 +0000

This was sent to me from my sister and I had to share it. It is amazing to me how generationally things don’t change. I read through these lessons and I find myself realizing I say a lot of this to my own child! I guess Moms are Moms are Moms. Doesn’t matter if it’s 1950 or 2010.

Enjoy the funny. Also, I can’t take credit for the list, and I hope the author of it contacts me so I can credit him/her. It is very funny! Well done! And Happy Early Mother’s Day!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”

15.. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

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HOME: Why do Men and Women look at Home Improvement Differently?

Flora Caputo — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:14:00 +0000

There is something I have observed over the years of being married and having many married friends-and that is the avid involvement of husbands in making decorating and renovating decisions. It seems I hear the same frustrations from many fellow wives when it comes to home renovating and decorating. I would not say that these observations are with the older generations, but with couples that are in their mid 30’s and 40’s. Older couples like my parents had more delineated roles and expectations. Women had the household, Men worked. So if women wanted to put up curtains or paint a wall a certain color, she just needed to stay within budget and she did what she felt needed to be done to make her house a home. Husbands just came home and dealt with it, eventually growing to like or live with whatever their wives did. Nowadays, Men are much more involved in their families, from being in the delivery room when their child is born to being at parent/teacher conferences. I think this interest has also permeated into “nesting”. Add popular DIY shows for the masses, and they feel it is socially acceptable to add their feedback in paint colors and curtains.

So where is the rub, you ask? My frustration is in the differences in the list of house priorities that men put together v.s women. Men look at very un-cosmetic choices first, women want to paint and decorate. If you have limited funds, often making a home pretty gets put to the wayside to “wait” until you put a new window in or maintain the furnace. Men can live with unfinished rooms and peeling wallpaper. As long as the house is solid and providing it’s purpose, they are fine. After doing some reading, it seems the root of the issue is how men and women look at money. This great article on Bankrate.com quickly illustrated for me the differences with how men and women look at money, and with that, decisions on what money goes to what house project.

Some of this is hardwired into the sexes from the beginning of time. According to a Bankrate.com article I came across, women and men historically have been very different with how they view house budgets.

Women, trained to nurture and seek acceptance, view money as a means to create a lifestyle. Women spend on things that enhance day-to-day living. Theirs is a now-money orientation.

Men, trained to fix and provide, view money as a means to capture and accumulate value. Men don’t spend, they invest. Men don’t want something, they need it. Theirs is a future-money orientation.

My friend Kathleen and I were laughing as we imagined the first caveman coming into his cave with his kill for dinner while his wife is busy putting up curtains to “spruce the place up!” Ruth Hayden, a financial counselor and author of For Richer, Not Poorer: The Money Book for Couples, put it best; “Women have been taught to invest in lifestyle and children. Men have been taught to invest in things that hold value — a house, retirement. The way that translates into spending is that women spend more money on the stuff that makes the day work. The problem with that is, most of that stuff has no asset value, no visible value.”

But aren’t paint, light fixtures and window treatments part of adding some value to a home? Maybe not as much as a working furnace-but a little. And what I say is hell, I could die tomorrow! I want to enjoy my home now! We work hard to have it, I want to feel good and proud while I am in it! Beyond the investment value of renovation decisions, there is also the emotional benefits as well. We all know the emotional part is better handled by women than men. So what are we women to do?

It’s a challenge, no doubt. There needs to be lots of talk and compromise on the list of priorities during home renovations season. And even when you get down to decorating decisions, both sides need to work together so that everyone feels good about their decisions moving forward. It won’t be easy, and evidently, Ruth Hayden agrees. “Where people are struggling is they still have the old socialization, but they’re living their lives differently. We have two people putting in eight- and 10-hour days, we have much higher standards for partnership and intimacy than our parents did, we have much higher standards for child-raising, for ourselves and our homes. Our standards have changed entirely, our roles have changed, and yet we still have this socialization model that is archaic. What couples are trying to do is to figure out new models. It’s wonderful, but it’s very hard.”

Well, here’s to forging new “socialization models!” I am off to discuss next steps in my home office remodeling project with hubby! Wish me luck!

Credits and great related articles:
https://www.ajchomefinder.com/home-decor/decorating-together-how-to-282827.html
https://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35061152/ns/today-today_home_and_garden/
https://www.bankrate.com/

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WOMANHOOD: Pink, a new helpful online magazine

Flora Caputo — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:52:00 +0000

I am quite excited about a new online magazine I just came across. Maybe it has been around a while, but I have never seen it. It seems to do a nice job of balancing career tips and business with lifestyle & fashion advice. It has great articles on building capital and running a small business. It has advice on office decor and swanky office fashion tips. They have a daily newsletter, similar to “Daily candy” that will send a daily tip to your inbox. Sign up and get in the PINK!

Pink Magazine

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WOMANHOOD: What this recession has taught me & my family

Flora Caputo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 01:20:00 +0000

We were at some friends of ours for dinner a few nights ago, and we got to talking about the economic climate and stress levels. It seems everyone I know is worried about doing twice the work with less staff, and many of our friends are out of work. Everyone, including myself, is just more tense and “short fused”. But as we continued talking, I was surprised to hear myself saying “You know, maybe we needed this. Maybe many of us needed a reality check.” I pondered this and decided to take a tally on this year and what this awful mess of an economy has done to change our family-not just the way we think about things but how we do things-for the better. Believe me, these have been hard lessons to learn. I just hope, as my family has made changes and learned some things, that our government and financial leaders will take stock and learn as well. So far, it doesn’t look like it, but time will tell.

1: The difference between need versus want.

This is easier said than done. I usually can convince myself of a purchase if it’s a good deal. And I am REALLY good at finding deals-but these days I definitely ask myself (and my daughter) when we see something that is remotely interesting at Target, and even if it’s on sale, if we REALLY need it. 9 times out of 10, we don’t, and we walk away. These have been great teaching moments for my daughter, which I hope will serve her well when she is all grown up with her own bank account. This has been a nice switch for us-and I think for many people. We have become such a consumable society. And now there is even stuff to help us condense and store stuff so we can BUY MORE STUFF. This climate has given many people, including myself, time to really evaluate, trim down, buy less and purge what we don’t need. And lets face it, humans don’t need much.

2: Going to the store for “girl’s night” with my daughter can be better spent together at home.

My daughter and I typically get a girls night in once a week. All last year, our favorite thing to do was to go to Target, eat in the cafe, get a libation at the in-store Starbuck’s, do a little shopping (just cause), go home and watch a movie in bed with her stuffed animals. Though this was fun, it was expensive. And really, when you strip it all away, the funnest part was the “being cozy with stuffed animals watching a movie”. So now we make a little mac & cheese and goof off at home. We get more focused time together and we aren’t tempted to buy STUFF we don’t need. Hurray for mac & cheese!

3: Actually paying attention to my 401K and my investments is a good thing.

This was an expensive lesson to learn. For years, I pretty much took all my 401K statements from all my various jobs and put them in a pile to gather dust, unopened. My husband took the initiative to start looking at our retirement last year and thank GOD he made me move my money last October. I did not lose as much as I could have if I ignored it -but it opened my eyes to the importance of not letting your money just sit there, ignored. So this year my husband and I have been playing a very active role in our finances. We work hard for every dollar we make. Pay attention to your funds. Make them work for you, too. Don’t be scared of bad news. Let the bad news put a fire under your ass to turn things around. With all the access to your accounts online, there is no reason to not move things and change things as you see fit for the market and your goals.

4: Appreciating and being thankful for my job.

This one I need to remind myself daily about-because there are days when I am sad and frustrated with it. We let good staff go in spring, and I have to do double the work with a third less staff. Clients are more demanding and less nice because of the same pressures they are under. I know I’m not the only one out there, either, feeling pressure. Many people are working very hard with less resources. SO its tough-whether you have a job or not. But hey, its the much needed paycheck I need to provide for my family. I work with & for kind, talented people. And I get to draw pictures some days and get paid for it, and that’s cool!

5: Using leftovers and being creative with meals.

This one my husband is better at than I, but I have had to learn this year. I have had to eat left overs for lunch the next day, and we try and make a menu plan using left overs. For instance, if one night we Barbecue chicken, then we typically will plan a salad with left over chicken chopped up the next night-or chicken tacos. Before, I hated using and eating left overs. I have no idea why. But it is pretty spoiled of me-and this nice dose of reality has forced me to be less of a food snob when it comes to left overs. Waste not-want not; that’s the truth.

6: Actually using what’s in the freezer and pantry.

Being foodies, we love getting food and freezing things. What happens is that we get a back log of things in the pantry and freezer. In the past, when we menu planned on Sundays, we just planned against recipes we wanted to try or schedule constraints of the week. Now we plan specifically against what is already in the freezer and pantry FIRST before moving to anything new to purchase. We have saved a lot of money this year doing things this way, and I think that this is a great habit to continue doing when we plan the week’s meals.

7: Bringing in lunch is healthy and cheap.

Years prior, buying lunch out was fun and exciting. Also, ordering lunch in when we were too busy to run out was also fun and convenient. 30 extra pounds later and $200 a month out-and I am wondering what went wrong! Last December, I made a new year’s resolution to change my diet which meant bringing groceries to work and having the right food accessible to me when I needed it. I have saved thousands of dollars and have lost all the weight I gained from eating out. I do feel bad for restaurant owners, I know they are hurting. But until they give healthier, cheaper options, I, for one, am staying in from now on!

8: Finding other places to grocery shop (there actually are!)

This has been a great learning experience. Years prior, I never thought about which store I should go to-I just went to the huge local chain. I never questioned the prices or the quality. But now, the big grocery chains in the Midwest have seriously inflated their prices. They are keeping inventory longer and finding ways to sell old stuff. We have found local, independent stores in the area that have great pricing and wonderful quality. Stores like Valli, Caputo’s (technically no relation), Stanley’s, A&G (my personal favorite) and Tony’s, are all better options. We feel great supporting a local business and typically local growers as well. And the best part-we save on average $50-$80 dollars a grocery trip. No joke. Also, we have found that if we go to a bigger chain, its gonna be Trader Joe’s. Trader Joe’s pricing is unbeatable for the quality and dinner options they provide for busy families. Do a little searching and see if you, too, can find a local grocery treasure and save money.

9: This year was a reason to give to the poor, clean out the closets as well as check out thrift shopping.

Kind of part of #1, this year has been a great “self evaluate” year for us and for many. We looked around and asked ourselves, “Do we need all this STUFF? I hate this clutter? Why do we need this? Why am I holding on to that?” So I have spent the latter half of this year purging and organizing. I am giving some things to my nieces, some to the poor, and some to sell. I’ll save money in tax deductions and make some money on e-bay. Best of all, I am feeling good giving to others and improving the Feng Shui in the house.

Also this year, I am hitting the thrift store first before anywhere else if I am looking for new clothing or accessories. I found my new winter coat, practically brand new, for 15 bucks. Add a 10 dollar dry cleaning bill and I have a designer new coat! Thrift stores are really great. Don’t be snobby, scared or grossed out. Everything can be cleaned, and with a lot of patience, you can find great stuff and save thousands of dollars. Plus, many of these stores have a charity affiliation so you are helping others as well as keeping stuff out of landfills. Thrift stores were a college thing for me back in the day, but I have rediscovered them and I am going to keep discovering them! (I picked up a barely worn Michael Kors skirt for $5 just last week! Hip Hip Hooray!)

10: Being more in tune and active with what is going on, politically and otherwise.

In previous years, I always took a laid back interest in politics, economics and the media. I mean-Its just little old me, what impact can I make? The truth is, a lot. The economy makes a direct impact to my life, so this year, I pay attention to lawmakers and financial leaders that are making decisions that are going to impact me. I read and listen to the news every day. It affects our decisions with our finances. And I write letters to my alderman and representatives when there is an issue of importance for us. I feel more a part of my community and an active participant in my future versus previous years. It’s a nice change.

11: Being more empowered with my own health care.

I have learned the hard way how to empower myself when it comes to doctors. But as health care costs keep rising, the bills really hits us hard in the pocketbook. We do have health insurance, but they cover less and less and our premiums keep going up. But now, I know to ask about costs of tests, and which lab they send the tests to. A friend of mine who doesn’t have health insurance told me that when she told a nurse her situation after getting blood work done, the nurse said she would call around and get the cheapest lab for the tests. They typically send the blood work to a lab that costs $300 (no questions asked), but the nurse found a lab for $150! So why doesn’t this doctor send the labs to the $150 one all the time? Your guess is as good as mine. But ask, you may save money! I met with a GI who wanted to get a round of tests done and because I am feeling well enough, I told her I wanted them pushed until the first of the year when we could afford the expenses. Years prior, I would have just gone along with whatever the doctor said to do. Then I would have a slew of bills that would cause all kinds of waves in our finances. When you can control and plan, do. Obviously, if you are seriously ill, don’t hesitate to get tests done and get yourself healthy. But if things are routine, ask the questions and push for what’s affordable and what’s going to work for you.

12: Being more industrious in all things home: Sewing, gardening with splittings and seedlings, freezing homegrown fruit, looking at what you have that you can use before going to the store and buying something.

This year has forced me to be more…scrappy and creative to get what I wanted to get done around our house. For me to do what I wanted with the garden, I grew seedlings. Instead of getting a new chair, I made a fitted slip cover. We use the freezer for saving many fruits, herbs and vegetables. And I try and use what’s in the attic or basement to find what I might need before going to the store. For instance, I wanted to organize an area on the counter for all the various paperwork from my daughter’s school. I found an old file organizer in the basement that I revived before going to the store. I used old baskets in the attic to help organize my daughter’s closet before buying organizers at the store. Being scrappy keeps things out of landfills and is greener overall-and the money you save is great.

It has been a tough year, no doubt. But we are all resilient people. The changes we have had to make have been for the better and I think we will keep doing a lot of this even when things get better. If you have good tips to ease the pressures of the economy, please share!

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